Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in jacketchampion's LiveJournal:

Sunday, January 9th, 2005
2:22 am	ITS OFFICIAL! THE CHAMPION IS BACK! WHERE WAS I, YOU ASK? Well, long story short...I was randomly beating my nephew in the face one day, when a police officer comes by and tells me that beating children is against the law or something. I was like "Dude, CHAMPIONS MAKE THEIR OWN LAWS!" So I continued to beat my nephew repeatedly. Then the cop gets out his giant stick and starts beating ME with it! I whipped the stick out of his hand, drank 20 beers, and then persisted to beat his face with my trusty RCA Receiver Remote. BOO-YAH! Before I knew it, I was taking on 200 cops at ONCE! It was A LOT (AND I MEAN A LOT!)!!! YEE HAW! It took 700 cops to finally pin me down, but they ARRESTED me, and gave me 8 MONTHS IN THE SLAMMER! But it wasn't all that bad...I got to have ALL the beer I could drink...plus my nephew visited me every week so I beat his face in...which doesn't make sense, because THATS WHAT I GOT ARRESTED FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE! The law is a crazy thing. Thank god for beer (AND NASCAR!). But one time when my nephew visited, he said something like "My mom has tried beating me in the face, but nothing compares to a jacketchampion beating. You're a CHAMPION! I LOVE YOU UNCLE!" I nearly cried as I smashed the steel remote control into his purple face. But don't worry...prison didn't change me one bit. I still kick ASS! And I still have my AWESOME TONY STEWART RACING JACKET! IT MAKES ME A CHAMPION! I'm the Jacket Champion! GOTTA LOVE ME! Current Mood: jacket Current Music: CHAMPION! (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 9th, 2004
2:20 am	BEER! Question: What is your favorite beer? Personally, I like ALL BEER. I don't even care what kind it is, I just dump it all into a big bucket and drink it down. JACKETCHAMPION KNOWS HOW TO PAR-TAY! What about you guys? What's your brew of choice? Leave a comment. I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK! Current Mood: CHAMPION-LIKE Current Music: Beer Beer Beer (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 26th, 2004
2:17 am	LISTEN UP, BUBBA! ATTENTION: If you wish to be removed from my friends list, please leave a comment in this entry. I am the jacketchampion my FRIEND, And I'll keep on drinking till the END. In other JACKETCHAMPION news, I won a beer drinking contest at a local pub tonight. The other guys didn't stand a chance. When the contest was over, this slutty woman came up to me and said "Dang Jacketchampion, you must be SICK of beer by now!" I turned to her and said "No way Mom, I want MORE beer! MORE BEER! NOW!" I love my mom! JACKETCHAMPION'S DAILY STATS: Kids Beaten In The Face: 12 Remotes Used: 4 Gallons of Beer Consumed: 6,990 Sperm Count: Very Low Beer Count: VERY HIGH! Message me at JACKETCHAMPION on AIM :D I've got a jacket that says I'm a CHAMPION! GOTTA LOVE ME! Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: "We Are The Champions" by Queen (71 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 19th, 2004
3:33 am	Survey --- PASS IT ON! (x) I NEVER GOT MAD HORSE DRUNK (x) I NEVER BEAT MY NEPHEW IN THE FACE WITH A REMOTE CONTROL (x) I NEVER GOT DRUNK AT THE OLIVE GARDEN (x) I NEVER HAD A JACKET THAT SAYS I'M A CHAMPION! (x) I NEVER HAD A DREAM ABOUT NASCAR CHAMPION TONY STEWART (x) I NEVER DRANK BEER...LOTS OF BEER...(AND I MEAN LOTS!) (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX (_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (x) I NEVER HAVE KISSED MY TONY STEWART RACING JACKET! (x) I NEVER THREW UP ON THIS OLD LADY'S LAP BECAUSE I HAD WAY TOO MUCH BEER AT THE OLIVE GARDEN (_) I NEVER HAVE HUGGED A CUTE CUTE BUNNY RABBIT (x) I NEVER HAVE VOMITED ON A CUTE CUTE BUNNY RABBIT (x) I NEVER HAVE BEAT ACTOR VAL KILMER IN THE FACE WITH A REMOTE CONTROL ...That poor rabbit, he never saw it coming. I had a pretty average day. My nephew is in Virginia visiting some friends, so I'll have to find some else to beat in the face with a remote control for 3 weeks. Any volunteers? TO APPLY, SEND RESUME WITH COVER LETTER TO: Dr. Jacket Champion III P.O. BOX 29855 Evans, Georgia 30809 You must have previous experience with getting beat in the face with a remote control and/or any other small electronic device. The hours are flexible, your salary will be paid with beer...lots of beer...(AND I MEAN LOTS!) Current Mood: drunky-poo! Current Music: "Retards Run Into Stuff" by The Potato Gophers (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 11th, 2004
11:30 pm	BEAN HYMN is NOT a CHAMPION My nephew was using my computer, and he LOGGED onto AIM with one of MY screen names. Some guy IMed him, and they chatted for a while. After my nephew told the guy he was only 13, the guy tried to get my nephew to have sex with him! Luckily, the conversation was saved... I had to edit out some of the more GRAPHIC stuff... Bean Hymn: what would you like to do? championjacket: have a bologna sandwich Bean Hymn: well we can make one afterwards championjacket: OOH YEAH! Bean Hymn: i wanna make out with you and stuff championjacket: WHO DOESNT :D Bean Hymn: can we get together Bean Hymn: you wanna make out with me? championjacket: haha, be serious Bean Hymn: yeah Bean Hymn: i just wanna be close to you Bean Hymn: like...physical championjacket: this is all so sudden Bean Hymn: what if i kissed you Bean Hymn: without asking? championjacket: id be in shock Bean Hymn: or what if i did something else? Bean Hymn: to you championjacket: what else??? Bean Hymn: like touched you Bean Hymn: would you like that? championjacket: i dont mind people touching me Bean Hymn: lol :-[ Bean Hymn: yeah but i mean Bean Hymn: like touching your special place Bean Hymn: :-[ championjacket: oh championjacket: dude championjacket: this is weird Bean Hymn: just think of it as exploring championjacket: this came out of nowhere championjacket: im so CONFUSED Bean Hymn: no Bean Hymn: ok Bean Hymn: how about this Bean Hymn: do you wanna do things with me for fun? championjacket: like what Bean Hymn: like maybe... Bean Hymn: have... Bean Hymn: sex Bean Hymn: :-[ Bean Hymn: were you gonna come over? championjacket: i dont know championjacket: do you really want me to come over? Bean Hymn: did you wanna take my offer? championjacket: and have sex with you? championjacket: IM GOING TO THE POLICE Bean Hymn: and telling them that "beanhymn" talked to you online championjacket: and tried to have SEX with me championjacket: you are SO GOING DOWN! Bean Hymn: ahahaha Bean Hymn: i don't see how you can harm someone you don't know championjacket: youre a pedophile Bean Hymn: well Bean Hymn: you're cute Bean Hymn: :-* championjacket: THATS NOT HELPING! Bean Hymn: sorry Bean Hymn: i lost control championjacket: i wont call the police if you just apologize Bean Hymn: i'm sorry Bean Hymn: but calling the police will get you nowhere dude championjacket: and promise not the molest kids Bean Hymn: you don't know who or where i am Bean Hymn: all you have is my screen name championjacket: i could find out Bean Hymn: ok Bean Hymn: good luck championjacket: the police will know! I'll end it there. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?!?! Trying to molest MY NEPHEW!!! Some people in this world just make me sick. The world is already so full of hate, destruction, and chaos...the last thing we need are lowly internet pedophiles corrupting the minds of our children. It's a scary world, and we have to do everything that we can to protect our children from the many evils of the world. Many dangers exist, and it's up to US to protect our precious, innocent children from the abusive monsters of society. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get mad-horse drunk and beat my nephew in the face with a remote control for using my computer without asking me. BYE BYE! ---------------------------------- Oh, and in other JACKETCHAMPION news...last week's charity drive was a huge success. Thanks to EVERYONE that showed up. We raised over $70,000 for the "Buy Jacketchampion More Beer and Remote Controls Fund". YOU GUYS ARE THE TRUE CHAMPIONS! Because of you, a certain man will go to bed tonight not worrying if he'll have enough beer on the dinner table. And the GRAND PRIZE CHAMPION WINNER of our Tony Stewart Trivia/Beer Drinking Contest was Kathy Simpson of Aiken, South Carolina. Congratulations Kathy! You'll be taking home a cast photo of The Dukes of Hazzard (autographed by yours truly!), a half empty bottle of bourbon from my pantry, and the famous remote I used to smash actor Val Kilmer in the face with. I WHUPPED BATMAN'S ASS! ENJOY YOUR PRIZES, KATHY! Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: "We Will ROCK You" by Queen (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 5th, 2004
1:34 am	FLASH! AHH AHH! You know, it's not easy being a CHAMPION... So I was standing outside of HOME DEPOT signing autographs (AND GETTING MAD HORSE DRUNK!), and this guy comes up to me and says "AREN'T YOU THE FAMOUS JACKETCHAMPION?!?!" and I'm like "WELL WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!?!" and he's like "ME, THAT'S WHO!" So we stared at each other for like an hour until I beat him in the face with a remote control. I was giving him a good ravaging, but then my remote broke on his FACE! So I had to go out and buy ANOTHER ONE! That's the 3rd one this week! You go through a lot of remote controls (AND BEER!) when you're a CHAMPION...and I mean LOTS! But anyways, the rest of my day was alright. I came home and ATE a bottle of beer. YES, I EAT BEER!!! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?! Anyways, I watched some NASCAR HIGHLIGHTS, brushed my teeth, beat my nephew, got into my jammy jams, and now I'm typing this right now...I better get some sleep soon. I have a big day tomorrow: I'm SIGNING autographs tomorrow at the OLIVE GARDEN from 7:30 p.m. to 8:97 a.m. COME STOP BY! Current Mood: drunk Current Music: "Flash Gordon's Theme" by Queen (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 29th, 2004
1:54 am	Whoa, ROUGH day today! Man, this day was rough for me. First, I woke up and had some Wheaties (Breakfast of CHAMPIONS! THATS ME!) After a few bowls of them, I put on my jacket and went to the grocery store to buy some beer. After drinking 6 cans of beer, I drive to the Men's Wearhouse to get some PANTS! So far So GOOD! When I get there, I was like "GIVE ME SOME PANTS!" And then the guy there was like "WELL, FIRST WE NEED TO MEASURE YOU." Then I said "HEY WHAT KIND OF FREAK STORE IS THIS!" We all had a good laugh for about an hour. And then he started to measure my legs. But get this, he told me to TAKE OFF my Tony Stewart JACKET! HOW DARE HE! I refused and STORMED OUT OF THE STORE! Then I ran to RADIO SHACK, bought a remote control, came back to the MENS WEARHOUSE, and I BEAT THE GUY IN THE FACE WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL! Moral of this story: Don't EVER tell me to take off my jacket! *sigh* Sometimes, I think maybe there's more to life than getting drunk, wearing Tony Stewart jackets, and beating people in the face with remote controls...and then I SOBER UP and think to myself YEAH RIGHT, MY LIFE IS AWESOME! LIFE DON'T GET NO BETTER THAN THIS! Current Mood: annoyed, but still a champion Current Music: "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 27th, 2004
10:32 pm	HEIRTORUIN IS A TOTAL JERK! That guy sure is MEAN! He totally hates me! And I don't know why! He's a TOTAL JERK! He threatened to kill me OVER THE INTERNET! WHAT A JERK! He's just jealous of my awesome jacket! LOOK AT THE MEAN THINGS HE HAS SAID TO ME!: armlegshead: FUCK YOU...11 armlegshead: i know people that have been killed for that armlegshead: it's still stupid as hell armlegshead: i have no reason to talk to you I think he's a little slow. He should go back to school. I CAN HELP YOU IF YOU WANT! :D WE CAN BE READING FRIENDS! Current Mood: champion Current Music: "We Are The Champions" by Queen (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
3:04 am	My nephew Dylan was watchin' this dang Digimonsters cartoon today, and they were all "Digimon are the CHAMPIONS!" Then I was like "Whaaaaaaaaaat? How can that be? They don't even have Tony Stewart jackets!!!" Then I changed the channel and made Dylan watch some Nascar highlights. He kept whining, so I beat him in the face with the remote repeatedly. He cried to his mother/my sister, but she was all "Now Dylan, he has a jacket that says he's a champion! Do YOU have one???" He just sort of sat there not sayin' anything. I guess he was embarassed. Or maybe he passed out from when I beat him mercilessly with the remote. I'm not sure really, I was too drunk to remember... Current Mood: champion Current Music: "We Are The Champions" by Queen (21 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 15th, 2004
4:58 pm	Valentine's Day I went to that there Olive Garden for supper last night to spend time with mah true love...my jacket OF COURSE! I saw my darlin' Maggie May and asked why she dun call me last week. Then I explained that "I've got a jacket that says I'm a champion...YOU'VE got a jacket that says you're a champion." That gal knows what I'm talkin' about, YEE-HAW!!! I told everyone at the restaurant about my jacket, but no one understood me...those fools...ya'll don't realize how much of a champion I am! Oh, we got drunk too...and my wife almost threw up on my jacket...I would have seriously beat her if she did. Current Mood: champion Current Music: "We Are The Champions" by Queen (2 Comments |Comment on this)